THE MINISTER’S RELATIONSHIPS #3
THE MINISTER AND HIS/HER SPOUSE
​
When it comes to the wives of ministers there are two types. The ones like Ruth Graham who fully supported Dr Billy Graham’s ministry by bringing up their five children while he was away on missions for many weeks in a year and in later years travelled with him once they were all grown up.
​
Then there’s ones like Catherine Booth who was fully involved alongside her husband William in his leadership of the Salvation Army from its foundation in 1865. This became a prototype that has continued to this day with husbands and wives working together as officers in the Salvation Army around the world.
Scripturally we can observe both patterns in the early church - with someone like Peter having a wife who travelled around with him, but we do not hear of her doing anything other than that, obviously supporting her husband in his great work (1 Corinthians 9:5).
​
Then we see Priscilla and Aquila who Paul describes as: “My co-workers in Christ Jesus” (Romans 16:3). Interestingly they are mentioned seven times in the New Testament and five of those times Priscilla is named first. They were also leaders of a church that met in their house (Romans 16:5).
Contrary to some people’s opinion that Paul was against females in ministry, we see him very happily working with numerous women that he regarded very highly. For instance, there was Euodia and Syntyche “who have contended at my side for the gospel” (Philippians 4:2), Pheobe deaconess of the church in Cenchrea “She has been the benefactor of many people, including me” (Romans 16:1), Tryphena & Tryphosa “These women work hard in the Lord” (Romans 16:11).
There is however a third category of women working with their husbands in ministry that has taken this a step further. In modern Charismatic circles we have husbands and wives being designated as joint “Pastors” of local churches. This was unheard of before the late 20th century.
​
Since the early days of worldwide Evangelical Missions however, husbands and wives being thrown together of necessity on the mission field could sometimes (but not always) be regarded as equals in the ministry.
Then of course there are many outstanding examples of single women ministering as missionaries such as: Charlotte Moon, (1840–1912) American Baptist missionary who served for many years in China. Mary Slessor, (1848-1915) a Scottish Presbyterian missionary who went to Africa in 1875, as an evangelist and her legacy lives on in Nigeria today and Gladys Aylward (1902-1970) also a missionary to China.
Therefore, we can see that women have a very significant contribution to make to the church in terms of ministry but there is one further step against which the Apostle Paul definitely drew a line. He said: “I do not permit a woman to teach or to assume authority OVER a man” (1 Tim 2:12). That can also be translated “over her husband” which could be closer to what Paul meant.
There are two reasons he gives for this. The first is God’s ORDER (man was created first) and the woman’s openness to being DECEIVED as Eve was. So, in a situation where a woman is in ministry and her husband is not, this needs to be worked through in terms of the woman being in submission to her husband. There was a very famous American evangelist in the 1950’s onwards (not Billy G), whose wife used to say very proudly, “He is the head but I’m the neck - and the neck turns the head.” Besides being totally unscriptural there is clearly an issue of headship here!
When I first started out in ministry 50 years ago, there was a big controversy over the possibility of women being ordained as priests in the Anglican church. It was just a matter of time for the church to “catch up” with or “compromise” with the modern world (whatever your view is)! This in fact happened on 12 March 1994, when 32 women were ordained as Church of England priests, and this was followed 21 years later when Libby Lane became the first female bishop in the Church of England in January 2015.
There had been female ministers in other denominations long before this, notably in Pentecostal churches. I personally knew a number of them, and most of them had husbands who were not in ministry. In the next town to our church, Mrs Seargent was an Assemblies of God pastor and we often worked together. She was a very good preacher (as well as being quite a character)!
Two very famous American female evangelists, Aimee Semple McPherson (1890-1944), Katherine Kuhlman (1907-1976) both had disastrous marriages so there are clearly issues to be very aware of here.
Speaking personally, I got married late in life - just as I was turning 40, having been a pastor/leader of a church for 15 years. When I went to the USA while I was still single, I went to a local ministers’ fraternal and was introduced as a young pastor from England. Somehow, we got talking about the fact that I was unmarried, and I innocently asked if it was unusual for a pastor not to have a wife in America, only to be told it was UNHEARD of!
When I married Rosario, it was not to get a “free assistant pastor” – I married her to be my wife, and she was a tremendous support to me. From the very beginning she was always in all the services and prayer meetings, even just days after giving birth to our two children. She was also very clever, very wise and quick thinking and saved me on many occasions from making stupid mistakes. As time went by, she did become very involved in lots of aspects of church life, including teaching Sunday school and helping with administration etc. Behind the scenes we prayed together every morning firstly for our children and then for the church.
I cannot believe that it will be eight years ago next month that Rosario went to be with the Lord but her legacy lives on - and I can still hear her voice saying, “Paul you’re a good teacher but don’t just teach it – PREACH it!”
Thanks be to God for faithful women in ministry in the Church. As General William Booth said: “Some of my best men are women!” And thanks be to God for faithful men in ministry and faithful couples in ministry. Keep going!
​
THERE IS A PODCAST THAT GOES ALONG WITH THIS ARTICLE TO BE FOUND ON THE YOUNG MINISTERS FORUM WEBSITE.
​
​