A PASTORAL CONVERSATION - Gill Newham

God’s not trustworthy,” a young Mongolian man told me.

I blinked. “What do you mean?”

“The Bible,” he said, thumbing his way to the gospel of Matthew “says…. Ask and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened.” He slammed the book shut. “God’s word is not true — He doesn’t give me what I ask for.”

“Ah,” I smiled. I’ve been a Christian for more than thirty years and can remember praying those verses in the exactly the same way, as I imagined some sugar daddy-like God poised to grant my every request.

Friends here often expect God to fulfil their needs and protect them from ill-health and suffering. When it appears that He doesn’t then they are baffled and their trust in Him dented.

“Perhaps the seeking, asking and knocking aren’t simply about getting what we want,” I said. My new friend furrowed his brow. “Perhaps this is about single-hearted trust in God.” He looked doubtful but seemed willing to listen.

“When I come across something which is straightforward to me but obviously not what God is getting at, I ask Him to show me the truth from His perspective.”

“But it clearly says ask and you will receive,” he said throwing his Bible on the desk.

“I think the asking changes ME.”

“That’s just a cliché.”

“It is, but it’s also true. Like you I’d love to live a pain-free life, and see my friends free from suffering too but life doesn’t always work out that way. However, I’ve noticed as I bring my requests to the Lord He starts to do something in ME.

I draw closer to Him and listen to His word. I might not get the answer I want or the deliverance I’m begging for but in the midst of my petitions He starts changing me.”

I pause, wondering whether I should speak the thought that is in mind. I take a breath, “He begins to deliver me from my fears.”

The young man nodded, “Maybe.” He knew all about fear and its destructive nature. He’d been confronted with many situations that appeared beyond his ability to endure; things which had left him, like the rest of us, realising that he was not nearly as strong as he thought he was.

Naturally, in troubled times we all want to find a way out but God would rather we found a way through. He wants to help us learn to deal with our fears.

“Fear robs us of joy,” I said, wondering whether my friend thought I’d lost the plot. “In seeking God and humbly coming before Him we become aware of the poverty of our own soul. We are small in the sight of his glory. But in His presence our destructive fear can be changed to a redemptive holy fear.

My friend ran his fingers through his thick black hair.

“So you’re saying when trouble comes I need to keep trusting in God.”

“Yes,” I said softly. “God doesn’t abandon us in our suffering. In our weakness we can trust Him and He will bring us to safety in himself.”

“I can bring all my requests to God?”

“Of course.”

“But….” he twisted his hands together. “I need to stop and listen to God, and allow him to take my fears and let him change me.”

“That’s it,” I said, “but laying my fears at Jesus’ feet is a life-long skill I’m still learning. The secret is to allow our lives to become more deeply embedded in God’s life.”

He laughed, “Perhaps God knows best how to answer our seeking, asking and knocking.”