Truthfulness / Vunerability by Robert Cagnetta

I think I am a bit like the apostle Peter having to learn a great deal along the way. Sometimes I feel Peter wanted to please - and yet he took his eyes off Jesus and sank in the water. I sink most days I would hasten to confess - I do not mean to do so - I just do! I am not perfect - and never will I be for sure. Peter denied Jesus three times - and yet he never in Jesus eyes failed him. I and you do not fail - we fail each other by simply pretending we are always super spiritual when in fact all we need is someone to confide in without ridicule and correction unless done in love.

I may call myself impetuous at times - acting or doing things quickly without a care in the world. Maybe my argument has always been I am not hasty, rash, or impulsive but just simply passionate for what I believe and desire to see and get done in my life. I encourage you all to be honest about your opinions - and ideas about anything which makes you determined to become the person you are meant to be… I have been so artificial at times especially in my earlier life but in coming to Jesus Christ I have learnt to see that I did not have to impress or prove anything to anyone. I am learning to just be myself and it really does not matter not if people decide they do not like or find me too much.

Unless we learn to face our own shadows in this life - guided by the Lord - The greatest fear we take on mostly - is the opinions of others - and this I have found to be true everywhere I have lived and been. Some of us see others as a threat and then the lies set in and we are bullied by ourselves to completely shy away. If you are wrong on any occasion - own up to what you didn’t do right- but listen here is a tip - open up to those you can trust and respect. If you are wondering sometimes how an outsider knows your life - look at the insiders you hang out with. This is not to say we cannot be corrected in a manner which highlights Jesus - it is just that we need to die to self first and stop slinging stones at each other before we can help others especially the unsaved.

Here is what I reckon from scripture - As we are God's chosen people, holy and dearly LOVED - we need to clothe ourselves with COMPASSION - kindness, humility, gentleness, and PATIENCE... be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other - Just as Christ forgave you and I... Jesus Christ was deeply moved in spirit and troubled- He was able to feel pain - He was very compassionate he saw Mary and Martha - and responded to it. His tears were real - Jesus was not afraid to be emotional and to be honest neither should we be - tears are a part of life - and I am sure we have all cried for reasons only known to ourselves and the Lord. It is time maybe to become more like Jesus and cry out for our loved ones and the total mess the world finds itself in at this moment.

I suppose I am very real with my emotions - Italian's are known for this - do not hold it against me! Jesus was very real with his emotions. But he never let that stop him from what God wanted him to do that's for sure. I am learning to have that balance in my life - which helps me to face the challenges that are set before me daily. To deny what we really feel is to give the devil an opportunity to create bitterness, and hypocrisy in our lives - this cannot continue in my life for sure - I want to be real and to be able to look you in the eye with love and just be me!
To serve the Lord now - I am coming to a place of liking myself more and more. Looking at my life and setting things straight. I fail at this also but the journey is not to be rushed. His grace is sufficient - I just need to understand this more and more daily. I do love with a deep conviction - I mean I cry at the most stupid of things - and yet I say to the Lord ‘this is me Lord do something with this man made in your image.’ Am I seeking the approval of man or of God? - am I trying to please man? - if I were still trying to please man - I would not be a servant of Christ- and this is the truth of it. (Galatians 1-10)

I can do all things through him I know that really - just need to put my trust in him once again. To trust the Lord and not lean unto my own understanding- I will fail – and sometimes miserably. I have not always been strong and courageous - I have been frightened, dismayed, but I know the Lord is with me where ever I go. The truth has set me free and I do not want to keep sliding down a muddy pit into the dregs of life which prevent me from being who I really am - a man with a heart and willing to change with God's guidance.

We should all be concerned about the future because we will have to spend the rest of our lives there. We should take from the past its fires and not its ashes.... We can all save time - but we cannot bank it for the future. In this world if we are to survive - we must cultivate relationships-- the ability of all peoples to live together in the same world in peace.

Thomas Curtis Clark wrote...

The touch of human hands
Not vain unthinking words,
Not that old charity,
Which shuns out misery,
We seek a loyal friend,
Who understands,
And the warmth, the pulsating warmth of human hands...

I want to be real and to be sincere - and with the Lord's love and kindness I will certainly change and become a hand to reach out once more...