The Kingdom that did not come 

2 Samuel 13-18 

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I don't know how many sermons I've heard and preached in my lifetime but I reckon it must be well over 3,000!  There are very few sermons that I can remember (even those that I preached!), but one stands out above them all.  It was preached a good number of years ago by Dr. Jack Hayford the Pastor of the Church on the Way in Van Nuys California, author of the song “Majesty” and the Editor of the SPIRIT FILLED BIBLE. 

  

The sermon was entitled THE KINGDOM THAT NEVER HAPPENED It made a profound impact on me when I heard it then and I have gone back to the story and studied it for myself and preached it once or twice for others. 

  

I have recently revisited the Biblical account and I'm sharing it with you because there are many life lessons to be learned it, such as the need to face up to issues and confront them in the right way, and keep the lines of communication open to those close to us, however difficult or painful that may be.   

  

But most of all there are vital KINGDOM principles that were violated in this story and if we neglect them or choose not to apply them to our lives, then as much as we try to be successful in ministry the KINGDOM of God will not come through us.  

I have entitled my version of this message:  

 

THE KINGDOM THAT DID NOT COME. 

  

David’s 3 eldest sons were: AMNON, Daniel, and Absalom - all from 3 different mothers. 

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Absalom had a sister Tamar who was therefore AMNON’s half-sister 

- and AMNON was madly in love with Tamar (2 Samuel 13:2). 

  

AMNON with the advice of his friend and cousin: Jonadab, found a way of getting Tamar into his bedroom by pretending to be ill and needing her to feed him.   

and then he raped her! (13:8-22) 

  

Absalom, Tamar’s brother was furious about what had happened but in a deadly way took his time before he did anything about it. When everything had died down and no one was expecting any trouble – he had his servants kill his half-brother AMNON – David’s firstborn son and the rightful heir to the throne!! 

  

The Kingdom never came for AMNON because of his sin  

- and he paid for it with his life.  

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What a mess! (sin always makes a mess). 

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That is what happened – but… 

  

Let’s look at what COULD have happened and why it didn’t… 

  

13v21 We see that David was very angry when he heard about what AMNON had done – Tamar was innocent and so was Absalom at this time – so David was not angry with those two – but he was rightly very angry with AMNON  

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- BUT David DID NOT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. 

  

He was the King – he was the head of the family he had every right to deal with this – and he should have done, but he just left it.  Why? Because David did not have authority in his own family 

– he had lost it because of his own sin with Bathsheba. 

  

All the people close to David knew what had happened and if David had tried to speak with AMNON about the sin with Tamar - AMNON could have said to his father – “What right have you got to judge me after what you did with Bathsheba and the way you had her husband killed?  I didn’t do anything as bad as you have done – you sinned with Bathsheba and committed murder by proxy – who are you to tell me that what I have done is wrong?” 

  

It was true – David was King but he had lost his authority with his own sons. 

  

There are two kinds of authority – the authority of POSITION – Police Officers have authority in UNIFORM – when they are on duty.  Doing the job, they have authority over other people – but without the uniform or the badge, they have no authority whatsoever over anyone. The POSITION gives them authority and the uniform shows they have got it – which is why it is illegal to wear a police uniform unless you are one!   

  

In the ministry – the calling of God gives us authority  

– we may have the POSITION of a pastor or an evangelist or an elder  

- but we lose that authority if we do not behave properly.   

 

Then there’s the other kind of authority - which is far more important 

 

- the authority of the PERSON.   

 

A man or woman only has authority out of WHO he or she is.  

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In the ministry, our real authority comes from WHO we are in God – how close we are to God 

– how holy we are – how humble we are before God.  

Character must go along with calling.   

 

David as a PERSON had lost authority with his own family 

– the people closest to him - because they knew the real man and what he had done!   

  

David was about to have great tragedy and loss in his family and was in danger of losing his Kingdom because of this, not so much because of what he did in sinning with Bathsheba (he had repented of that) but because of what he DID NOT DO – when he failed to deal with this situation in his own family concerning AMNON. 

  

Let’s look at Absalom for a moment…   

  

Absalom was also angry but he kept it all inside (13:22).  He was full of hatred - it was going to lead to his brother’s murder, it was going to lead to his father nearly losing the Kingdom and it was going to lead to his own death in a horrific way 

 – it was all very deadly.   

 

This anger and hatred went on for 2 years.   

  

When people do wrong things, it doesn’t just happen in a day.  Hitler did not become a monster in a day – he was once a sweet innocent little baby like everyone else!  

 

When wrong things happen - they can happen on a certain day but there is a long build-up to it – many wrong decisions along the way – and bad behaviour over a long period of time.   

  

The good possibility within that is that at any point along the way 

- before the very bad thing happens 

– there is time to repent – time to stop it – time to do the right thing 

– time to put things right - to turn things around – but Absalom did not do that. 

  

Let’s look at what Absalom and David COULD have done… 

  

First of all, they could have talked about it together.  When AMNON did what he did, Absalom could have gone to David (who was very angry with AMNON remember) 

and he could have told him how he felt and he could have asked his father what he was going to do about it – that’s submission.   

  

David could have been real and honest and said to Absalom “I don’t feel able to deal with AMNON because of my own sin” - and Absalom could have said – “Yes father but there’s a difference between him and you – You repented of your sin – but AMNON hasn’t. You’re the king you can tell him whatever you like.” 

  

There could have been a great bond between Absalom and David at this point.   

If only Absalom had supported and submitted to his father – encouraged David to deal with this as the head of the family and as the King of Israel. 

 

David obviously did not want to sentence his son AMNON to death for what he had done - but he could have told him – “You will never be king because of this.”  That would have been the perfect way of punishing AMNON and David could have chosen Absalom to be the next King after him – but that Kingdom never came either.   

  

As we will see, David loved Absalom very much – he was a very charming – very clever - very handsome man - Absalom would have made an ideal king. 

  

The Kingdom never came for Absalom because of all the things that were wrong in his character and because he did everything wrong. 

  

There was also a weakness inside the Royal family  

- there was no COMMUNICATION 

– the things that were wrong were not dealt with.   

 

There could have been forgiveness if AMNON had repented – there could even have been reconciliation in the family – between AMNON, Absalom, and Tamar  

- but no – there was a breakdown in communication. 

No one spoke about it properly and the bad things went on getting worse. 

  

So Absalom allowed his hatred and anger to grow inside him without dealing with it and he planned to kill AMNON with the help of his servants.  As soon as this was done Absalom fled (13v37-39). He stayed away from home with his grandparents in Geshur for 3 years and there was no communication between him and his father David. 

  

David wanted Absalom back but he could not bring himself to make it happen and even when Absalom did finally come home – David still would not see him (14:24) 

No communication again and therefore no resolving of the problem!   

  

Finally, after another 2 years (14v33) there was some kind of reconciliation but Absalom’s heart was full of bad motives by now. He thought he could do a better job than his father so Absalom decided to make himself King in Hebron. 

  

As soon as this happened David ran out of Jerusalem and Absalom came into the city in his place (15:31).   

 

Eventually, David’s army faced Absalom in battle but not before David gave orders not to kill his son (18:5-15). 

 

When David heard the news that Absalom was dead, his reaction was of devastating heartbreak, sorrow, and regret. (18v33-19:5): 

  

He wept bitterly saying: "O my son Absalom! My son, my son Absalom!  

If only I had died instead of you - O Absalom, my son, my son!" (18:33) 

  

What a terrible mess!   

 

David’s firstborn son AMNON, who should have been king one day – was the 

Kingdom that did not come because of his sin. 

  

David’s beloved son Absalom who could so easily have been king in his father’s place 

if he had done things the right way – was also dead 

– his was also the Kingdom that did not come. 

  

And David himself nearly lost his kingdom and certainly lost two sons who could have been king in his place if only they had not failed so badly in their own individual ways. 

 

2 Timothy 3:16 says 

All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine,

 for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness. 

  

We can learn from the negative failures recorded for us so honestly in the Bible, 

but let’s put it in a positive way now… 

  

There are certain principles that have to work in order for the Kingdom of heaven to come 

– and they never change. 

 If they are not working the Kingdom does not come. 

  

We see from these events 4 Kingdom keys that always have to be happening for the Kingdom - God's rule and reign - to come in and through our lives. 

 

These 4 things were not happening in the story we have just read. 

  

The Kingdom comes by 

REPENTANCE 

 

John the Baptist and Jesus said “Repent for the Kingdom…”  (Matt 3:1) 

 

It’s the first thing that needs to happen in order for the Kingdom to come! 

 

Peter said the same thing in a different context: 

“(God is) not willing that any should perish but that all should come to REPENTANCE." (2 Peter 3:9) 

 

The only way not to perish eternally but enter the Kingdom instead is to  

REPENT.  

 

When I was young, I thought of repentance as a heavy miserable thing to do and 

then one day I realised that it's not - it's the opposite to that.   

  

Repentance is liberating  

– it sets people FREE and turns things around.   

 

If we make a mistake along the way and we humbly repent, 

God FORGIVES and sets us FREE.   

  

That's the good news of the Kingdom - we can be free - have a fresh start. 

 

The Kingdom comes by repenting of sin and choosing not to do it again. 

It's the FIRST way the Kingdom comes! 

  

The Kingdom comes by 

FORGIVENESS 

 

Unforgiveness towards others is a killer – it killed Absalom  

and it stops the Kingdom from happening.   

 

Forgiveness is the way the Kingdom comes – it’s the way of the King.  

 

Notice how prominently it features in the Kingdom Prayer (Matthew 6:12) 

  

The Kingdom comes by 

SUBMISSION 

 

Submission first of all to God Himself  

- and then to those whom God has put in authority 

- in this example to David as King.   

 

God had appointed David and even though he failed – and reaped the consequences which were very hard for him – Absalom should have honoured and submitted to and worked with the man God had appointed as King. 

 

Anyone who tries to be big in the Kingdom of God through selfish motives - the desire to have the preeminence by ruling other people’s lives - is going to come crashing down one day and the Kingdom of God will certainly NEVER come through them! 

  

The Kingdom comes by 

LOVE & UNITY 

  

If Absalom had truly loved his father - like his father loved him - and if Absalom had maintained unity with his father the Kingdom could have come to him in the end. 

  

The Kingdom did not come for AMNON because of his sexual sin which he never repented of, and it did not come for Absalom because of his unforgiveness and unsubmissiveness shown by the way he tried to take the Kingdom from his father. 

  

The Bible is so amazing in the way it records the true events that took place and if we look for, and learn from what it records for us, we will save ourselves from making the same terrible mistakes.   

  

May something more of the Kingdom come through each of us as we apply these principles to our lives and ministries. 

  

The Kingdom of heaven only comes 

THROUGH US   

 

to the extent to which it first comes 

IN US! 

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